Conspiracy Level Madness
While our podcast is on a hiatus, we at Observatory Media have decided to continue on the tone of the podcast in written form to placate our readers until we return with rundown rambles. We bring you Midweek Madness to cover all the outrageous, wild, and downright jaw-dropping stories from around the world.

Austrians Postpone Election Because of Glue
This one is short and sweet. There is a scheduled Austrian presidential election due to be held on October 2, 2016. However, the balloting envelopes have ‘faulty’ glue that is not sticking correctly. The election is going as far down the line is December 4, 2016, pending Parliamentary approval. Ironically, presidential hopeful Van der Bellen used this embarrassment as metaphor for larger Austrian problems by exclaiming the country must ‘stick together.’

 

Russian Hackers Leak Athletes’ Profiles
Russian hackers going by the name ‘Fancy Bear’ have successfully hacked into the World Anti-Drug Administration (WADA) and leaked medical files of several high profile athletes. Notably, the group released files they claim to prove that US stars, including teen gymnastic sensation Simona Biles and tennis superstar Serena Williams, have violated doping regulations. Both athletes have denied the claim with Biles saying the medication is for ADHD. The group has promised more leaks are forthcoming. This could be a revenge hack by the Russian group relating to WADA’s scathing report of Russia’s doping oversight body.

Clinton Body Double Theory
Alright kids, tin hats on for this one. Since Hillary Clinton’s dizziness and stumble while leaving a 9/11 memorial ceremony, the interwebs has lost its collective mind debating whether or not the presidential candidate has a body double. The “evidence” ranges from comparisons of photos before and after the event, to more ‘analytical’ explanations that compare the size of her earlobes and the length of her fingers. Also being used as evidence is the fact that she was willing to hug a child after admitting she has pneumonia and the lack of secret service agents that were with her in the picture. Close your eyes sheeple; this story isn’t worth the tin my hat is made of. Also, did you know China is the largest producer of tin in the world? I’m sure there’s a whale of a conspiracy theory somewhere in there.

Duterte Looking To China
Though relations between the US and the Philippines have been stable in recent history, recent weeks have demonstrated that newly elected President Duterte won’t stand for what he perceives as American meddling in the country. After words and expletives were exchanged as the international community responded to sanctioned extrajudicial killings and the arrest of hundreds without due process, Duterte took another hardline this week announcing he would end joint patrols with the US in the South China Sea, cozy up to China, and consider buying arms from Russia. Them’s fightin words. This is, however, in line with the platform Duterte ran on; an anti-drugs domestic focus, with plans to alter the archipelago’s foreign policy to make it more ‘independent’, coupled with a shift towards its geographic, rather than strictly political, allies.


August Hottest Month on Earth in Recorded History
According to NASA, a fairly reputable group of scientists that occasionally send people to space, August was the hottest month on Earth since data started to be recorded in the 1880s. This is the 11th straight month to beat the previous month, and subsequently the record. This practically guarantees that 2016 will be the hottest year on record, ever. This has massive implication for polar ice and climate change. The world is 1-degree celsius hotter than it was 100 years ago. That is madness.

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